Sunday Snippet: The I’m Used Up Edition

I’m not whining, I promise. But it’s been a pretty busy week and the weeks ahead look mighty full as well. I’m already longing for a writing retreat and we just got back from one a couple of weeks ago.

Book release is wonderful and humbling and somehow the imposter syndrome kicks in, which I’m trying very hard to damp down. I am a good writer and I should own that and enjoy the flurry of book release praise and move on. The Fireman’s Christmas Wish is a good book–a well-told story and I love these two characters as much I’ve loved any I’ve written before or since.

But I think the imposter syndrome kicks in because I’m tired, physically, mentally, emotionally–just feeling used up. That’s when that mean little voice in my head says “They don’t know that you aren’t living a perfect, romantic life with wine and roses, that you’re just an old post-menopausal woman sitting in her office in her jammies and holey sweater and sucking down coffee while trying to get words down.”

But I remind myself that most people don’t know that writing a novel is just plain hard work. They simply read and enjoy, which is what we authors want more than anything. But oh, it is hard work interspersed with moments of joy, moments of “wow, this scene is really good,” and moments of release when we write THE END, knowing that it isn’t THE END forever and that we will be beginning again soon on a new book and more promotion. Only other authors know how much I worry that I’m not doing enough to promote and market my work… I’m doing what I can, so I guess that qualifies as enough though, right?

Yes, Nan, it’s enough. Writing is hard work, but can you imagine your life without it? No–every single time I think, okay, I’m almost done, these words from writer friend, Anne Stuart overwhelm me, “Everything in my life is filtered through my writing. There is no me without it.”

There is no Nan without the writing and maybe even without the editing… both define me better than any words I could find to tell you who I am. So… deep breath… focus… and words…

Gratitude for today: fall colors are exploding; saw Son play guitar in the pit band for RENT; book release is going well; we washed cars yesterday in the driveway and it was fun; enjoyed a few days with Grandboy; so thankful for all the wonderful reviews and reader enthusiasm. I am truly blessed. 

Stay well, stay safe (hang on to those masks–we will need them again), be kind, and most of all, mes amies, stay grateful,