Sunday Snippet: The Good-Hearted Woman (A Heart Update) Edition

A good-hearted woman. That would be me, mes amies … well, sort of. I had an appointment with my cardiologist on Monday last week. The first one in a year because I had been doing well and the every-three-months checkups seemed excessive. This time, though, I had some concerns—I’ve been more tired than usual, I’m getting breathless again when I walk with the ladies, and my blood pressure is consistently in the hypotension (low blood pressure) category. Dr. B, who is the best-ever cardiologist, and I talked about all my concerns. I was prepared for drastic measures to fix what I thought could be my worsening HFrEF.

The good news is she felt we could fix things with a medicine switch—changing up the beta blocker that is part of the 4-drug protocol keeping me alive for the past three years. (Yeah, it’s been three years since I was diagnosed with Heart Failure with reduced Ejection Fraction.) We made the switch and even after only six days, I feel more energetic. My daily BP checks are in the normal range—and okay, it’s very low normal, but it’s normal. I’ll take it.

The best part is otherwise (and I know this is ironic given that my heart is failing), I am healthy. Very healthy. All my bloodwork came out perfect. Dr. B even pointed to my bloodwork results on the computer screen and said to the student she had with her on Monday, “Want to see perfect numbers?” The student was impressed, and probably surprised because I am a 72-year-old round woman in heart failure.

Oh, and we talked a little about the weight thing, which is down 10 pounds from my last visit. Dr. B. reinforced that my size is fine, as long I take care of myself. I eat right, I exercise, we’re starting yoga classes on Wednesday, and I’m drinking lots of water. Yes, my butt is round and bodacious, but it’s okay. I’m strong, my heart is beating, and the meds are doing their job, plus I’m kinda cute and sexy (think red cowboy boots!). So all in all, I left the visit feeling like things are going to be okay. I see her again in three months, and I’m supposed to call in a couple of weeks with a report about how I’m feeling since the med switch-up. So far, so good.

The weight thing preys on my mind sometimes, even though at this point, I’m pretty much average size for a women of my age. I occasionally wonder if I should try the whole GLP-1 micro-dosing thing that nearly every woman I know is doing, but I’m not a good candidate for it, as Dr. B has emphasized that more than once. Besides, I’m not sure I’m want the “food noise” to go away–I like the food noise. I like the anticipation, the cooking, The ordering of and the thinking about the taste of good food. And frankly, since I had Covid in August, I eat way, way less anyway. And I’m tired, so unholy tired of counting every calorie I consume. Tired of labeling foods good or bad. Food is neutral–neither good nor bad. I want to make my eating choices based on “Does it sound tasty?” rather than “Where will this end up on my body?” I know how much the GLP1s are helping friends who need/want them and I wish them every good thing, but for me–I’m going to try to make peace with food and my body. Hold a good thought.

One of my Facebook friends posted this little story a couple of years ago and I saved it because it spoke to me about my constant battle with weight…

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.

Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.

And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I ask myself: “How amazing am I?!”

~~originated with a Facebook post by Delphine Fieberg

Yup, that’s my new mantra whenever I pass a mirror… How amazing am I?!

~*~*~*~

News & a Giveaway! On Friday, N.N. Light’s Book Heaven is featuring The Cowboy’s Comeback as a New & Upcoming Bookish Event pick! I soooo appreciate N.N. Light’s support and the support of all my readers! Thank you! Let’s give away a couple of e-book copies of The Cowboy’s Comeback to celebrate. Just tell me in the comments what you’re grateful for this week. I’ll draw a winner on Tuesday.

Gratitude for This Week: Dr. B. changed my beta blocker–seems to be helping; Took a quick trip up to the lake to check on the cottage–all is well; Several good long walks around the hood this week; Sent book 3 to my editor; Started book 4–Levi and Zoe are talking.

Stay well, stay safe, but speak out when you are able; always choose kindness; and most of all, mes amis, stay grateful!