Yeah,well, maybe not so much. These posts can’t all be brilliant or even interesting for that matter. I’m almost halfway through my 30 days of blogging and my creative well is about as empty as it’s ever been tonight. Well, maybe it’s not really empty…maybe I’m just not able to reach far enough down right now to capture any great thoughts. I don’t even really have much in the way of feelings today–it was just a blah one. Nothing all that fascinating happened. It was raining when we first woke up, so we snuggled under the blankets and went back to sleep. We ran some errands after we got motivated…

So–church. Today is Sunday and you know, Sunday seems to be hardest day of the week for me right now, and yet also the best day. That’s weird, I know, but it’s me, so what else is new, right? But here’s the thing, on Sundays when we’re in town, I’m attending the church where PJ and Kate are members and I like it. To be honest, I’m probably the worst church person in the world because I don’t show up every single Sunday and I’m not a great joiner. But Husband and I transferred our membership to this church on Palm Sunday because…well, because it’s the first time in 25…

We ended up staying at the lake an extra day–it was raining and stormy and the thought of packing up just didn’t appeal, so we decided to hang out until tomorrow morning. So glad we did because we got to spend an extra beer-30 with our pals, which brings me so much happiness. And you know, right now, I’m very selfish about stuff that makes me happy. I need the happy. A break in the rain allowed for a walk–not as far as yesterday because the break didn’t last long, but we did the park road and down to the docks. The lake has cleared some with the storm and…

I walked the bay today–well, I guess that what you’d call what I did. I walked the whole length of Bay Front Court, all along the north side of Keene’s Bay and then up 2.8 to the drive by the boat barns and then down Lazy Acres Road and out to the docks, then back up the west side of the park drive and all the way around the court to home. It turned out to be about 2.25 miles–a little over 5K steps. I walked mostly at a pretty good pace, but also some of it was leisurely. I even skipped on the road by the boat barns because…

Several people have messaged me privately to suggest that I speak to my doctor about the funk and maybe think about getting some chemical help. I appreciate their care and concern so very much–how kind they are to share their stories and tell me how SSRIs have helped them get through a rough patch. It’s wonderful that such drugs exist and that they really do help so many people. Fact is, I can’t take SSRIs–I tried once, several years ago when menopause was knocking the holy crap out of me. My doctor at the time put me on an antidepressant, hoping to help me stop crying, which I was pretty…

It’s Easter Sunday, and a day I thought would be hard turned out to be a blessing–full of sunshine and joy. I wasn’t sure about going to church because I knew it would be emotional to be there without Kate. But you know, it was okay–good, even. The sanctuary was gorgeous all decorated with spring flowers and a beautiful artistic representation of Christ’s ascension to heaven. The tulips and daffodils and hyacinths brought spring right into the service. The music was amazing and the sermon inspired. It was almost as if Kate knew what I needed and she and God just laid it all out for me–it was too perfect…

Sometimes clarity comes because you’re having a pretty okay day. Today was pretty okay. I got my hair blonded and cut and I worked. Did the rest of the first read-through on my current editing gig. Great story! I love it when a story captures me to the point that doing any kind of editing is pointless until I’ve read the whole thing through first.  Finished it this afternoon and started the actual edit, but it’s mostly mechanics. This is a first-rate writing and I love it! Tonight, we watched the newest episode of Outlander. I confess I’m hooked–as hooked as I was/am on the novels. These books are huge–both…

You know, I really don’t want these 30 days to be just me whining about my state of mind, my feelings…for one thing, it’s going to get pretty damn boring and for another, it’s not me. I’m not really a whiner by nature. Even though I kinda feel whiny, I also want to share good stuff that happens. Today was a good day and I didn’t cry once. We read the story of the crucifixion this morning during our devotion time–only two more in the Lenten Devotional that we got from church–it’s been nice to share that each morning, and reading the whole account from the gospel of Mark was…

It was a pampering day–mani/pedi and lunch with sister PJ. There is camaraderie in going to the nail salon together, even if we don’t get to chat while we there. Is it silly that it’s nice just to know that she’s there with me? I don’t think so. When I got home, I worked on an editing gig that I just got for a little while and then went with Hubs to supper and the grocery. Weirdness–my appetite sorta sucks right now–this isn’t a complaint, just an observation. Nothing really sounds that good and for some reason, my aversion to sauces and dressings has gotten really, really bad. Like, please-please-…

It’s been a long, very hard winter and I can’t seem to get my head back on straight after the deaths of my friend, David and my dear sister, Kate, after dealing with Dee’s continuing illness and seeing my dearest pal, CL suffer through breast cancer surgery and radiation. It feels as though I’m in a fog, in a state of…I don’t know what. Not confusion exactly, but more like I’m trying to walk through half-set jello. I’m unmotivated to write or to work or to put much effort into anything at all. I’m disorganized and scattered. I have the attention span of a very small child. Even simple things…