Musings,  This Life...,  Uncategorized,  Writer's moments

Nan in Search of Clarity–Day 15

So…yeah…I’m about six hours and fifty minutes late with this post. I’d love to tell you that I was so deliriously happy yesterday that I completely forgot about posting and that life is grand and I’ve totally resolved all my issues and no need to remain committed to my thirty days of blogging. Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice?

Well, not so much…fact is, I plain forgot. We cleaned the carpet at the lake and scooted home. The drive back wsleepy snoopyas mine this time and I came as close to falling asleep while driving as I’ve ever come. Seriously–if Husband hadn’t been there to keep me talking, I’d probably be snoring upside-down in my car in some as-yet-planted corn or soybean field even now. The fact that I got so sleepy driving made me realize how much I’m sleeping right now. Not like all the time or anything, but more than usual for me. I’m going to bed earlier and sleeping later. I know that’s one of the signs of depression, but it’s also a sign of avoidance on my part–if I go to bed earlier, then I don’t have to think about the fact that I’m not writing because, see, I’m a late-night writer.

My best creative time is at night, when the rest of the house is asleep. In nice weather, I can open my office window or sit in the big chair by the open window at the lake, and listen to the night sounds outside, crickets, critters, the occasional car driving by. For some reason, being all alone at night gets my creative juices flowing. But ever since Kate died, I’m going to bed with the chickens and waking up…well, waking up whenever I damn well please. I deliberately began writing this blog and posting at night, not just because I wanted to write after the day had ended, but also because it was making me write at my personal best writing time.

All this to say, I blew it yesterday–Day 15 came and went with nothing extraordinary happening…nothing at all really and I forgot to blog. But I’m here this morning and it’s not 8 a.m. yet, which means I got up when I woke up instead of staying in bed cuddled up to Husband’s comfortable warmth. I’ve got an actual To-Do list today, and the last thing on it is “Blog,” so I will.

Five Things I Was Grateful for Yesterday

  1. I didn’t fall asleep driving and kill us both in our new car
  2. I got work! YAY!!
  3. Got to talk to Son, who is in Rome doing important stuff
  4. The carpet in the cottage is clean and next week, the bedroom carpet gets it!
  5. I didn’t overeat or long for a glass of wine