Musings,  This Life...

Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 19

reading cam 2015I didn’t cry today. That’s not good or bad news, particularly, it’s just what it was. It isn’t that I felt too empty to cry–I didn’t. It isn’t that I was deliriously happy all day–I wasn’t. And it isn’t that I didn’t think  of Kate at all today–I did. Several times actually. But I was content today, just doing ordinary things–it was a normal pre-December 19, 2014 day… and the pain in my side is gone.

Is that a start? I don’t know, but it feels fragile and like I want to protect and nurture this feeling… this peace…

Five Things I’m Grateful for Today:

  1. Our yard is greening up.
  2. I knitted today while I watched Outlander.
  3. Poppy sent Grandboy a subscription to the NWF’s Ranger Rick Jr. magazine–he couldn’t resist the otters.
  4. Yesterday’s writing conference made me start thinking about a new novel.
  5. I’m so blessed to have Connie in my life–it was fun to watch her and Husband in the kitchen together yesterday while they made supper for me and Liz and Lani and Alastair. They work well together and that’s a gift.

***Tonight’s picture has nothing to do with anything except that it made me smile–Grandboy loves reading enough to go off on his own and pull out a book… isn’t that amazing for a two-and-a-half years old?



  • Carol M

    Glad you had a great time at the conference. Lani and Alastair are pretty terrific. I haven’t met them in person, but how fun for you. My granddaughters “read” too. The one and half year old often sits on the couch and pulls the books out of the book basket, turning pages to the end and getting another one. The three year old loves her books too. It is a great cuddle time, isn’t it! Glad for you.

    • Nan

      It’s it great to see the grandkids interested in books? I worried a little because this is such an electronic world, but our Grandboy is bookish and very into anything with wheels. Books are a wonderful time to cuddle! 😉

  • Carla Hampton

    Sorry Ms writer for the typos….ugh! I frequently don’t proof when I am writing comments or texting! Sometimes they come out hilarious!

    • Nan

      Hey, all bets are off and the editor is off-duty in texts and comments on blogs–I’m just very grateful you took time to come by. 😉

  • Carla Hampton

    It’s a great thing for grandboy to have an early interest in reading! I love it! It does sound like you are now heading toward the exit of the valley you are in. Not that everyday will be the same but that you will probably see more days ahead just like you have described! You will find a new normal and you will come through stronger after each and every trial and sorrow that you encounter. You Are going to be fine dear one! Still praying that God will lift you up, carry you, love you deeply, as I kne he does and enable you to live your life abundantly! That is exactly what your sister would want for you, i know it and I didn’t even know her!

    • Nan

      Thank you x2, Carla. I hope you’re right. And I appreciate so much your prayers and support! Kate would so want me to live abundantly. as you start your new venture!