Time passes so quickly that Sunday comes along before I realize it’s been a week since my last missive here. A few months ago, I bought a little book called A Year of Journal Prompts. I’m bugged by the fact that I feel I need that little book, but I confess I’m really glad to have it. The author must have been feeling my empty-brain pain when she put it together. She has 30 or more prompts for each month of the year and Octobers are mostly about reevaluation–taking a look at where you are, where you’d like to be. Things you are happy about, things you aren’t so pleased about. And questions about your lifestyle.
One question this month is How sustainable is the way you are currently living? That got me to thinking about the knot in my stomach that’s been there for the past nearly two years. I told Husband on our drive to the lake earlier this week that I just want to feel normal again, to stop feeling as if I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. His response was, “What other shoe? How many more do you think there are?”
Yeah, I know… I don’t know what other shoe. But ever since we’ve been vaccinated against Covid-19, I’ve had this feeling of waiting for… I don’t know what. But I feel as if I’m crouched in a corner cringing (metaphorically, of course), that normal is never going to come back around. And I’ve been thinking that my cringing is not sustainable. I can’t continue to bury myself in work and writing, not going out in the world, staying away from people. Mostly, I want to unknot my stomach and just get on with the business of living.
I want to be able to ask, “Are you vaccinated?” without feeling like a paranoid snob. It’s okay for that to be a criterion for making a choice about what I want to do and with whom I choose to do it. I want to be fine with wearing a mask and not feel like I have to explain myself to the unmasked. I want our country to go back to being together instead of being divided over something that is not a divisive issue at all. It’s a public health issue, not a reason to fight. We should all want to keep each other safe and healthy. I want us to go back to caring about each other.
I pray every day for our leaders, that they will find a way to agree that our country, the citizens, are more important than power plays and that real freedom means loving one another. Mostly, I want all the people who are fighting with science to unknot their panties and get back to the business of caring, of taking care of each other.
So…the answer to how sustainable is the way I’m currently living is not very. Something needs to change. I’m going to work on normal…figuring out what that is now because I know it’s not what it was before the pandemic. It can’t be and maybe that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe a new appreciation of all my many blessings is in order. November is coming up. I’m thinking grateful Sunday Snippets are in order.
Tell me…How sustainable is the way you’re currently living?
Stay well, stay safe, wear your mask, and most of all, mes amies, stay grateful,