Sunday Snippet: The Reflections on Aging Edition

I turned 72 on Friday. 72. It is a number I never expected to see because when my mom died suddenly of a massive heart attack at the tender age of 60, I became convinced that I would follow in her footsteps. After all, I’m a lot like my mom in other ways. When I passed 60 … and continued on for another almost ten years, I was always kind of surprised that the next birthday happened. Surprised and oh, so very grateful.

In December of 2022 when I was diagnosed with heart failure with reduced ejection fraction (HFrEF) at the age of 69, I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t see another birthday. Ah-ha. Here it was–the heart thing that took Mom had arrived, quietly, without a lot of fanfare, but rather with an exhausted Nan who got breathless walking from the dock to the cottage and who pushed to make it through the day.

But medical science thumbed its wise nose at me, and here I am, on a four-drug protocol that has given me another three years of great living and the promise of even more. I’m here, I’m mostly strong, I mind the docs and exercise and eat well and take my myriad medications with great joy because I know they’re giving me these “bonus years.” Years I never expected to see.

So, today, I get to do something I never imagined that I’d ever get to do–make a list of little reflections on aging. So here we go, in no particular order, things I’ve figured out about getting older.

• You never choose to get down on the ground unless it’s absolutely necessary.
• You notice little things more–Husband and I look for a certain a hawk that sits on a wire above a field along the road we take to the lake each week. He’s always there… seeing him makes us both feel…safe.
• You find yourself saying, “Sorry, say again” to your spouse in the other room, and learn that to have a conversation, you need to be facing one another.
• You take a sweater or a shawl into nearly every restaurant you go into because, damn, those places are cold! (And you fondly remember your fifties when the icy AC in a restaurant was a welcome relief.)
• Once you’ve had a good breakfast, “I don’t care” and “Whatever you want” are on the menu for the rest of the day.
• Traditions are more important than ever–Thanksgiving with wine tasting at sis’s house, the Yuletide symphony concert, wine o’clock with friends at the lake… you get the picture.
• You need a blanket to watch TV. Doesn’t matter if it’s warm or cold in the house, it’s a Linus thing. You need your blankie.
• Comfort and ease are the main drivers of how you choose your clothes, your shoes, even your socks. And for dressing up–comfort beats style every time.
• And on that same note, makeup is no longer mandatory and slinging your hair into a ponytail or clipping it up off your neck rather than taking time to style it is just fine, too.
• Unless you need something desperately, you don’t pop out for stuff anymore. You wait until you have several places to go before you get in your car to face the traffic. It’s called consolidation of errands. It works.
• Lists and calendars are not just a good idea, they are essential.
• Your dear friends always get it, no matter what it is, because they are all kindred spirits.
• You need to meet someone at least three times to retain their face and name.
• Your need for restaurants and being entertained diminishes. You’re entertained sitting on the deck with a glass of wine, Pandora on the Linda Ronstadt or Glenn Miller channel, and watching the fireflies is entertainment enough.
• You fall asleep when you read, but deny you’re dozing when Husband asks, “Are you asleep?”
• You pick your battles more carefully. In most situations, you ask yourself, “Is this a hill I want to die on?” The answer is usually “no.”

So that’s my list–not everything because more stuff will occur to me after I push the Publish button on this post, but this will do for now. Let’s talk. Share some of your reflections–I’d love to hear them.

Gratitude for This Week: I had another birthday. Book release day was grand. So far, readers are liking Forever Cowboy (see what I did there? Ninja book promo!). Husband gave me new tires for Gigi (my car) and the kids are getting her detailed. Lovely dinner with the kids at really great restaurant–we had black truffle fries. Yum! Apple pie.

Stay well, stay safe, always speak out–it’s how we will save our democracy, and most of all, mes amis, stay grateful for every moment,

Oh, and PS: Home to River’s Edge, the e-book, is still free for a short time longer at most book retailers. If you haven’t been to River’s Edge yet, now’s the time to discover my little town on the Ohio River.