Okay, so maybe these are actually early December memos. No matter, here we go…
You SUCK and I’ve had quite enough of you attacking my loved ones, so cut it out! Got it? Scram! They need a break and frankly so do I, so go away and never, ever return, okay?
Dear Cloudy, Gray Skies,
Buzz off and let the sunshine in…
Dear Christmas Cookies and Fudge,
Somehow, you’ve gotten the mistaken idea that I made you for my own pleasure. Well, I didn’t. I made you for my clients and friends, so stop calling to me from the freezer in the garage. Stop it this instant!
You are only getting more and more precious and adorable. How is that possible? Just when your Poppy and I think you’re as cute as you can be, you cute up even more and we’re surprised all over again. We can’t wait to see you in just a few weeks! We’re both anxious to play with you and hug and love all over you!
Dear 24-Hour Christmas Music Radio Station,
Right off, I love that you exist, I do! It’s great to have holiday music whenever I want it, but I really, really need for you to stop playing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” It doesn’t matter whose recording it is, that is one frickin’ annoying song. Please, no more–I beg you.
With bells jingling,
Dear Allisonville Christian Church Choir and Music Director Matthew Tippel,
What a blessing your production of Handel’s Messiah was tonight! The music was glorious, the choir amazing, the soloists simply fantastic, and the orchestra wonderful. I won’t be going to Yuletide this year, so your production was my hit of holiday joy and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
In the spirit,