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Still Here…
…and I think what I learned from the 30 Days of Blogging is that I’m not really in search of clarity at all–I’m looking for relief from the sorrow, respite from the often-overwhelming sad of losing Kate. I’m wishing that writing might make the tears less imminent and the lump in my throat easier to swallow. I guess that has happened to some small extent, but I’m still teary when I speak of her or when I see something that makes me think of her or when people ask me how I’m coping. The good news is I am coping. Life is going on. I’m working, I’m writing, I’m lunching…
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Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 30
Well, how typical! My last blog in this adventure and I’m 42 minutes late with it. Are we even surprised? Although, I actually have a good reason for not getting here until 12:42–I was writing. A scene for the new WOWB book has been nudging me and I just needed to get it down, so I started writing right after I talked to Husband around ten p.m. or so and just closed the file on 3,769 words. It felt good–damn good! Today’s picture is from 2005, when Son got his Master’s degree. We had a party for him and Kate was there–this is her with our niece’s little boy. Isn’t…
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Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 28
Another good day–how lovely that they’re more frequent and I kinda think that writing is helping that happen. Another thing that’s happening is that the people in my head are talking to me again. Ideas are spinning round and I’m plotting and dialoguing and building characters. I’m in Discovery–which, according to my wondrous editor Lani involves not just thinking about my book, but also absorbing narrative with books and movies and TV. I didn’t do a soundtrack for my last book, but this one, I think, needs a soundtrack, so I’ve started listening to music on my iPod and figuring out which songs will work for this story. And I’m…
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Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 27
I woke up this morning very early and watched the sun rise from my bed. I was thinking about what a good time PJ and I had yesterday sharing church and lunch and then attending the Stuart McLean show together. It was a good sister day. I want so much to be the sister that PJ deserves because PJ is a good woman who should always have people in her life who love her and take care of her. She’s had some tragedy in her life with the loss of her precious boy and now, our Kate. She and Kate shared an especially close relationship–they were “the big kids” and…
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Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 25
Clarity–is that even anything that’s possible? Maybe I’m trying to find something that will never be there, trying to make sense of something that won’t ever make sense. I don’t buy that God wanted Kate with him or that her cancer and death were his will for her. I think that’s crap. If I don’t believe that it’s always God’s will that people are healthy and strong and that we live, then that shakes the very foundation of my faith. I have to know that God is a loving father and no loving father would ever want for his child to be sick or to die. I do know that.…
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Nan In Search of Clarity–Day 24
Nothing but joy today–it’s true. It has been a joyful, peaceful day and I’m so thankful for it. We just got home from the Allisonville Christian Church–Arts at Allisonville production of The Wizard of Oz. Who knew there could be so much talent in one congregation and tonight’s event just made us even happier we’ve thrown our lot in with this wonderful church. Delightful play and even more delightful players, including my sister PJ, who was a townsperson in Oz and in the chorus. So fun to watch her up there! This morning, I went to the gym and spent an hour working hard in the pool–it felt great! Then…
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Nan in Search of Clarity–Day 15
So…yeah…I’m about six hours and fifty minutes late with this post. I’d love to tell you that I was so deliriously happy yesterday that I completely forgot about posting and that life is grand and I’ve totally resolved all my issues and no need to remain committed to my thirty days of blogging. Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice? Well, not so much…fact is, I plain forgot. We cleaned the carpet at the lake and scooted home. The drive back was mine this time and I came as close to falling asleep while driving as I’ve ever come. Seriously–if Husband hadn’t been there to keep me talking, I’d probably be snoring…
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Nan in Search of Clarity–Day 7
I’ve been thinking about sister Kate a lot today. Sometimes I can’t remember her face very well and that scares me because I don’t want to forget her face. She had a great face and the best smile and laugh ever. I’m at the lake and I don’t have all my photos handy here on my laptop. so I got on Facebook and found pictures of her–it’s a great face, but I still can’t look at the pictures without getting weepy. As I looked at FB pictures, I found the one of our mom that Kate had put up on FB at some point–Mother’s Day maybe or Mom’s birthday–May 13,…
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8-Sentence Sunday Redux
So last week, I posted my eight and realized after I did it that I’d forgotten to sign up. DUH!! It’s been that kind of month, Mes Amies. However, here are the eight sentences from The Summer of Second Chances that I posted last week, and Sophie and Ben just cannot catch a break. That delicious kiss intensifies when suddenly… “Sophie.” Ben pulled back and reached down to grasp her hands, “Soph… somebody’s at the door.” Squinting up into his passion-dark eyes, almost navy in the lamplight from the living room, she blinked in confusion before she finally heard the knocking from the utility room. Someone was rattling the hook…
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8-Sentence Sunday
8-Sentence Sunday has come around again…time is flying by! We’re still in the scene with Sophie and Ben’s first kiss in The Summer of Second Chances, but this time, we’re in Sophie’s POV… For one brief moment, Sophie wondered if a kiss that had probably been building up for years might turn out to be anticlimactic. It wasn’t. The warm pressure of Ben’s mouth on hers kindled a response that set her pulse hammering. That tiny flicker of longing that had smoldered deep inside her since he’d stepped into the kitchen of the Sandpiper flared to an inferno. His hands moved lower to pull her harder against his warm, muscled…