The Eternal Underwear Dilemma

Men, avert your eyes. This is a strictly girly post. I’m serious…it involves panties…

Why is it that when I finally find a bra or panties that I adore wearing, that are comfortable, wash like a breeze, and feel like a part of me, they suddenly stop making them? I swear this happens to me all the time.

About five years ago, after a long, long panty search, I finally found some cotton-and-lace cuties that fit well, didn’t creep up my butt (giving me an annoying wedgie), and were reasonably priced. I bought a dozen pair, mentally preparing myself for their inevitable demise. I loved them, so of course, they’d disappear in a matter of months. But lo and behold, the store kept stocking them. Wow! I was in underwear heaven, knowing every time I went in, my panties would be there, possibly in new colors and designs. It’s a cheap thrill I know, but when you’re staring fifty-eight in the face, you take your thrills when and where you can get them.

Last week,  I went to my store’s website to check out the new colors and order a few more pairs, but they were nowhere to be found in the online catalog. Panicked, I clicked the “Clearance” link, not really believing that after all this time, they’d stop carrying my faves. Well, there they were in the frickin’ Outlet and down to just a few pairs left, none in my size. I called the local store and the rather bemused-sounding clerk verified my worst nightmare: my cotton-and-lace panties have been discontinued.

I’m devastated (well, okay maybe not devastated, but certainly very disappointed!). Now I have to start over. Scour department stores, specialty shops, and online retailers to find a new brand of panties. And they aren’t a returnable item, so I’m going to have to head out, buy one pair of several different types and do the great panty experiment all over again…crap…


  • Diva

    I *hate* that! Victoria’s Secret used to make stretchy comfy non-riding-up body-by-victoria bikini briefs that sat still, stayed put, and came in charming bright colors. No more, alas. Now it’s skimpyville. So I’m back to being a fat chick with panty problems.

  • Tim

    I know, but as chief FB Sheriff, I just had to say something. But you know, ladies and gentlemen, that I have had botchy underwear problems every now and then. So, perhaps I am a kindred spirit.

  • Tim

    Maybe a little too much information . . . But your descriptions . . . succinct and to the point! Spoken like a true lover of the Blue Light Special!

  • Carole

    Hi Nan,
    I thought I was the only one with panty issues. I had decided that my butt was shaped differently than most and that was the reason nothing fit. Yes, I did find one pair of perfect panties that cover the subject and had four way stretch so they didn’t disappear on me while wearing. Unfortunatley, they disappeared from the store.:(