Sunday Snippet: The I’m Older and I’m Okay Edition

Yes, I’m going to talk about aging today, so if you’re sick and tired of hearing about people (read me!) getting older, I’d suggest you go do something else. Watch YouTube or Netflix, scroll on your phone, or read a book on your Kindle. Seems like I keep hearing that people I know or who are part of my worldview have died–Bonnie Tyler, Sam Neill, Catherine O’Hara, Robert Duvall, Peabo Bryson, David Clayton-Thomas, Neil Sedaka, Sophie Kinsella, Rob Reiner, Eric Dane (Dr. McDreamy)… and closer to home and less recently, my mom, my sister, Kate, my best friend, Dee, and other cousins, friends, and contemporaries.

Kate would’ve turned 75 in June, and we lost her way too soon. I was so counting on becoming feisty senior citizens with my sisters, like my Nana and her sister Alice. They were so funny and got on one another’s nerves and loved each other with all their hearts. I thank God I still have PJ to make those kinds of memories with–we’ve promised each other we’ll live to an old age and drive each other crazy.  I’m counting on you, PJ!

I think of Dee, of my mom, of Kate nearly every single day, missing them and wishing they were still here to share in life’s joys and sorrows.

But you know, I think there’s a chance that this may be the new normal for me because I’m getting to the age where friends and family die. People are living longer because medical science is keeping diseases like cancer at bay longer and we are better at taking care of ourselves. The fact is, though, that I’m 72 years old and that’s senior in anyone’s book. But I’m not done. Not by a long shot.

So many of my friends who are just into or well into their senior years make comments like, “Well, this is the last house I’ll ever own,” or “This is the last new car I’ll ever buy,” or “It’s too late now to think about that trip to Paris or London or Alaska that I always wanted to take.” Or writer friends who say, “Too old, not sure I have any more books in me.”

I have to tell you, even given the HFrEF diagnosis four years ago and all that has come after it, I’ve never once thought, “This is the last… anything.” Mostly because, who knows? What kind of tragical thinking is that? And maybe others might say, not tragical, practical…real. But if that is real, count me out. I’ll stay in my fantasy world, thank you.

And yes, I confess that when I got the HFrEF news, I did think about leaving this earth–wondering if it might be sooner than I ever imagined. Who wouldn’t? But almost as quickly as those thoughts rose, I shoved them back. Because inside this body, with its very tired heart, is the soul of a much younger woman. A woman who has books to write, places to see, trips to take, a marriage to nurture, a grandboy to love and watch grow into a man, a Son and DIL to love and enjoy, and a sister and friends with whom to share joyful moments.

I am NOT done! This is not my last car, maybe not my last home, definitely not my last book series–I just signed a new contract for a new series of four novels, definitely not my last trip to faraway places–pal Carol and I are planning a trip to France next fall… so much adventure lies ahead and I intend to bask in every moment!

How about you? Where are you on the aging thing?

Gratitude for This Week: A week at home has been nice; Coffee with a friend I haven’t seen in a while; Riding my bike again; Tea with two old school friends–lovely! Birthday celebration with Son, DIL, and grandboy. My kid is 47! Wow… just wow… 

Stay well, please continue to speak out when you can–it’s so very important to protect our democracy, always choose kindness, and most of all, mes amis. stay grateful!

Oh, PS: Big doings this week: A cover reveal here on Wednesday with a few little fun surprises and a Christmas in July event over at Tule Book Club with even more surprises! So watch FB and Instagram and be sure to come along! As always, I love to have you with me!