…even when we don’t want to do it. This week is one of those times. I’m tired of working. I’m out of the mood, I’m burned out, I’m over it. I want to stop. I’ve had to work the last two weekends at the lake–something I really hoped to avoid doing. But, I have a deadline and a lovely client who’s paying me to get their project done. So, I’ll keep at it.
It’s odd to feel this way when I love my job as much as I do. I know exactly how fortunate I am to be able to earn what mostly constitutes a living while sitting at home in my jammies. I’m aware that I’m very blessed not having to go out each morning and drive through rush-hour traffic to get to a sterile office somewhere. Most people would envy me and no doubt get very snarky when I whine. I wouldn’t blame them, but even the best job in the world can get tiresome.
Most of all, right now, I want to write and when I’m on a tight deadline, that’s hard to do. I edit all day, taking one or two quick breaks for lunch and maybe a fast jaunt on the treadmill. I have supper with Husband and then come back to my office to keep working. By the time my eyes are so bleary I can no longer see, it’s too late to write. I go to bed, get a few hours sleep, and start all over again.
Yesterday, my dear friend and neighbor came by and stole me away for a quick lunch and a catch-up session–thanks, Mare!! It helped. Tomorrow, I’ll take a break and go with PJ for a mani/pedi, which will also make life nicer. But, when my work schedule is like this, I start perseverating over my novels and I have to sit on my hands to keep from bugging my agent. Where are my books right now? Is anyone showing even a shred of interest in publishing them? Will I ever be able to be simply a writer? Can I ever make a living that way?
I think the answer to that is probably, no. The highly successful, very well-paid novelist is a rare bird. Most of the published romance novelists I know have day jobs, so I know that I’m not alone. But sometimes, it depresses me when I have to set my writing aside for a few days to earn a living. Poor Nan! It’s a sad, sad tale, isn’t it?
Well, this project is almost finished, the next one isn’t due for another few days and on Friday, we head to the lake. I can write again soon. In the meantime, I’m making notes and recording thoughts on my dvr as I think about how I want my newest story to progress, plus, I’m taking time out to whine right now! All in all, I’m very lucky…and I do know it.