This Life...,  Writer's moments

Sometimes, We Do What We Gotta Do…

…even when we don’t want to do it. This week is one of those times. I’m tired of working. I’m out of the mood, I’m burned out, I’m over it. I want to stop. I’ve had to work the last two weekends at the lake–something I really hoped to avoid doing. But, I have a deadline and a lovely client who’s paying me to get their project done. So, I’ll keep at it.

It’s odd to feel this way when I love my job as much as I do. I know exactly how fortunate I am to be able to earn what mostly constitutes a living while sitting at home in my jammies. I’m aware that I’m very blessed not having to go out each morning and drive through rush-hour traffic to get to a sterile office somewhere. Most people would envy me and no doubt get very snarky when I whine. I wouldn’t blame them, but even the best job in the world can get tiresome.

Most of all, right now, I want to write and when I’m on a tight deadline, that’s hard to do. I edit all day, taking one or two quick breaks for lunch and maybe a fast jaunt on the treadmill. I have supper with Husband and then come back to my office to keep working. By the time my eyes are so bleary I can no longer see, it’s too late to write. I go to bed, get a few hours sleep, and start all over again.

Yesterday, my dear friend and neighbor came by and stole me away for a quick lunch and a catch-up session–thanks, Mare!! It helped. Tomorrow, I’ll take a break and go with PJ for a mani/pedi, which will also make life nicer. But, when my work schedule is like this, I start perseverating over my novels and I have to sit on my hands to keep from bugging my agent. Where are my books right now? Is anyone showing even a shred of interest in publishing them? Will I ever be able to be simply a writer? Can I ever make a living that way?

I think the answer to that is probably, no. The highly successful, very well-paid novelist is a rare bird. Most of the published romance novelists I know have day jobs, so I know that I’m not alone. But sometimes, it depresses me when I have to set my writing aside for a few days to earn a living. Poor Nan! It’s a sad, sad tale, isn’t it?

Well, this project is almost finished, the next one isn’t due for another few days and on Friday, we head to the lake. I can write again soon. In the meantime, I’m making notes and recording thoughts on my dvr as I think about how I want my newest story to progress, plus, I’m taking time out to whine right now! All in all, I’m very lucky…and I do know it.