Sunday Snippet: The It’s Been a Tough Week Edition

I know that y’all are accustomed to happy, cheerful Nan here on the blog, and let me just say upfront, I’m okay. But it’s been a really hard week and I am blaming wicked cancer and getting old.

Duane Flaherty photo 57 of 162 My bestie’s husband passed last Saturday after an incredibly aggressive cancer took over his body. It was so fast, we barely had a moment to breathe after his diagnosis before he was home on hospice and then gone. His memorial gathering was on Thursday and what a glorious tribute it was to a good, good man–a husband, father, grandpa, musician, and very recently, a great-grandpa. So many folks came to pay their respects, and I only had a moment with my bestie, but it was a moment we both needed. I hung out to give my condolences to her kids and just watch how loved he was. On my way home, I turned off the car radio and sang all the verses of “Love Lifted Me” that I could remember. And even though I can’t sing worth a damn, I hope he heard me and knows I’ll bring whatever light I can to her as she goes through this dark time.

Then, another old friend checked in and let me know that she has terminal ovarian cancer and right now, she’s being treated palliatively. This is her third bout with wicked cancer, and she is such a fighter, but this one is bigger than her, and I am heartbroken. She also shared that her husband has kidney cancer. Sigh.

I have another friend who is dealing with a husband who is falling into Alzheimer’s and he is disappearing so scary fast, while another friend’s husband’s body is simply beginning to shut down with age and other factors.

I know that my reactions to these situations my dear friends are in is a minor thing compared to what they are coping with right now, but oh, how helpless I feel and there is deep, deep sadness that sometimes aging is not golden at all. Even I am dealing with knee arthritis issues right now and may soon have to face a big decision about what to do with my right knee. (I’m going for an x-ray this week.) Y’all already know that it is four miracle drugs that are keeping my failing heart beating… I’ve said it before… getting old is not for cowards.

I try very hard to keep my light burning, to be chipper, and to always remember to be grateful for the joys and blessings in my life. Last night, I was reminded how blessed I am when we went to Son and DIL’s house for my belated birthday celebration. I’ve made it to 73, when I never believed I’d live past 60, so there’s a big joy right there. Son made Irish stew with Guinness, DIL made a gorgeous salad and we sprinkled her fresh herbs on it, and Grandboy is smart and funny and gives such fabulous hugs. There were lovely gifts and an ice cream cake and a hilarious old movie to watch. It was restorative.

I list my gratitude here every week, and I am grateful always, truly I am, but man… it’s been a tough week. And sometimes you just have to let yourself be sad, don’t you?

~*~*~*~

Gratitude for This Week: Got the boat pulled, winterized, and into storage (thanks Ken!); spent a couple of hours on our deck with our lake neighbors on Friday night-so lovely to get to know them better; took a drive to a state park and wandered the prairie; color is starting to show on trees here in the Midwest–another week or two and we’ll be blazing; good to see my city neighbor after two weeks away.

Stay well, keep speaking out, and Vote, Vote, Vote! Always choose kindness, and most of all, mes amis, stay grateful!

3 Comments

Patricia Barraclough

October 12, 2026 at 12:56 am

I am so sorry you had such an awful week. I know how fast cancer can take someone. My mother had ovarian cancer but it wasn’t discovered until they did exploritory surgery. By then it had invaded her entire body. I had been overseas for 3 years and traveling. It was a miracle they were able to get in touch with me. I did make it home,barely, but she died 4 weeks after the surgery. The doctor said he had never seen anyone go so fast. This was in 1971 and she was only 47 with two early high school students still at home. So much has been learned since then, but ovarian cancer is still a dreaded diagnosis. I lost my youngest brother to cancer, my youngest sister beat her’s, and another brother has stage 3 cancer and has been given maybe 5 years.

Cancer seems to have touched everyone’s life. My mother-in-law beat it twice – breast cancer and colon cancer. In the end, Alsheimer’s Disease got her, but we had her for a good long time until the last few years. My husband has beaten cancer twice. Sadly, a blood test indicated he is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. It is more frightening than anything else we have faced over the years. He is noticing issues more now and I see more he isn’t aware of. I am trying to plan and take trips he has wanted and arrange other tings he has wanted to do. We just got back from a New England trip, but the change in routine upsets him a bit. It doesnt help that there is a major family crisis at home we are dealing with. It is making it hard to plan much of anything. Our son has COPD at 44 and may have cancer. He has no health insurance, he works construction which has no benefits and isn’t steady enough to afford insurance. As a result, he is getting no treatment and hasn’t been able to get a broken collar bone fixed (from being hit by a hit and run driver when he was riding his bicycle) . He has medical bills he can’t possibly pay and can’t work as much as he used to. The health care system in this country is so lacking. What can you do in a case like this? (Sorry to carry on so. It has been a rough two months and it was therapeutic.)

I am so glad your health is holding and you have done so well all these years. You have a wonderful, loving, and supportive family. That makes all the difference in being able to deal with your health issues as well as the losses you have experienced recently. I hope you don’t need knee surgery. It puts you out of commission for such a long time. I hope there is no more bad news for you any time soon. Take very good care of yourself. You can be sure we are speaking out and will difinitly be voting, even if it is a small statement in a deep, deep red area.

Latesha B.

October 11, 2026 at 6:34 pm

Hugs to you and your friends as you all deal with aging and its wicked counterparts. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Liz Flaherty

October 11, 2026 at 1:22 pm

Thank you for your tribute to Duane. He was indeed the best guy and remains the love of my life. My heart aches for your friends who are having such life-altering things going on. While aging isn’t for cowards or sissies, it is sprinkled liberally with blessings, too. Love to you.

Patricia Barraclough

October 12, 2026 at 12:56 am

I am so sorry you had such an awful week. I know how fast cancer can take someone. My mother had ovarian cancer but it wasn’t discovered until they did exploritory surgery. By then it had invaded her entire body. I had been overseas for 3 years and traveling. It was a miracle they were able to get in touch with me. I did make it home,barely, but she died 4 weeks after the surgery. The doctor said he had never seen anyone go so fast. This was in 1971 and she was only 47 with two early high school students still at home. So much has been learned since then, but ovarian cancer is still a dreaded diagnosis. I lost my youngest brother to cancer, my youngest sister beat her’s, and another brother has stage 3 cancer and has been given maybe 5 years.

Cancer seems to have touched everyone’s life. My mother-in-law beat it twice – breast cancer and colon cancer. In the end, Alsheimer’s Disease got her, but we had her for a good long time until the last few years. My husband has beaten cancer twice. Sadly, a blood test indicated he is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. It is more frightening than anything else we have faced over the years. He is noticing issues more now and I see more he isn’t aware of. I am trying to plan and take trips he has wanted and arrange other tings he has wanted to do. We just got back from a New England trip, but the change in routine upsets him a bit. It doesnt help that there is a major family crisis at home we are dealing with. It is making it hard to plan much of anything. Our son has COPD at 44 and may have cancer. He has no health insurance, he works construction which has no benefits and isn’t steady enough to afford insurance. As a result, he is getting no treatment and hasn’t been able to get a broken collar bone fixed (from being hit by a hit and run driver when he was riding his bicycle) . He has medical bills he can’t possibly pay and can’t work as much as he used to. The health care system in this country is so lacking. What can you do in a case like this? (Sorry to carry on so. It has been a rough two months and it was therapeutic.)

I am so glad your health is holding and you have done so well all these years. You have a wonderful, loving, and supportive family. That makes all the difference in being able to deal with your health issues as well as the losses you have experienced recently. I hope you don’t need knee surgery. It puts you out of commission for such a long time. I hope there is no more bad news for you any time soon. Take very good care of yourself. You can be sure we are speaking out and will difinitly be voting, even if it is a small statement in a deep, deep red area.
Latesha B.

October 11, 2026 at 6:34 pm

Hugs to you and your friends as you all deal with aging and its wicked counterparts. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Liz Flaherty

October 11, 2026 at 1:22 pm

Thank you for your tribute to Duane. He was indeed the best guy and remains the love of my life. My heart aches for your friends who are having such life-altering things going on. While aging isn’t for cowards or sissies, it is sprinkled liberally with blessings, too. Love to you.