Nan in Search of Clarity–Day 5

It’s Easter Sunday, and a day I thought would be hard turned out to be a blessing–full of sunshine and joy. I wasn’t sure about going to church because I knew it would be emotional to be there without Kate. But you know, it was okay–good, even. The sanctuary was gorgeous all decorated with spring flowers and a beautiful artistic representation of Christ’s ascension to heaven. The tulips and daffodils and hyacinths brought spring right into the service. The music was amazing and the sermon inspired. It was almost as if Kate knew what I needed and she and God just laid it all out for me–it was too perfect to ruin with tears of sorrow. I knew she was there with me and probably cringing as I sang the Alleluias because I have a lousy singing voice, which I hope I make up for with enthusiasm when I sing the old hymns.

After church, sister PJ and her husband followed us up to the lake and helped us open up. Once we got things mostly opened up, we sat on the deck in the sunshine and enjoyed a bottle of wine together. It was lovely! I confess I’ve missed wine these last 40 days, and the pinot noir we had was particularly good. It’s from a winery in Manteca, CA called HandCraft Winery. It’s delicious and was a terrific way to break our Lenten wine fast. It’s good to be back at the lake and we can’t wait to see all our friends again. One couple already stopped by for hugs and hellos–we’re anxious to see everyone again.

For the very first time, PJ and I shared fond memories of Kate with no tears. We even laughed a little as we talked about old times. Healing? Dear God, I hope so… at least it feels like a small start.

Five things I’m grateful for today:

1. PJ and Larry
2. The lake
3. Warm hugs from dear friends
4. The new car rocked the drive up–super comfy ride
5. Wine